Love. Grieve. Forget. Move On.

The worse has just happened. The plans are all gone. He has forgotten them after a tryst with a classic huntress.

I can remember before I left home, I repeatedly asked him about our relationship and that if I could trust him when I leave for New Zealand. We had plans and we sorted them out time and time again and they were good plans. I left home in December, not even a month passed by and he lets a woman into the house and lives with her. Yes, in OUR house. She knew perfectly well he has a girlfriend and he and the slut still screwed each other right in front of our photos.

I felt very betrayed, I was in shock, it was gut-wrenching heartbreak for me and I was just devastated. I died a thousand deaths and I was on my own in a foreign country. Words are short to describe how it feels. How could he do this? I defended his beliefs against my family's traditions, I have risked every value I was brought up with. I risked my heart, soul and my reputation. How can someone be so selfish?

Anyway, I was slowly and painfully picking up the pieces when another month after, he asks me for another chance. And I gave it. A few WEEKS later, they "broke" up, but are still in the house together. What the f*ck? I thought who is this guy kidding, I have to save my sanity here and I gave out an ultimatum, if they're still on by the end of that week, we are completely through, because he is simply wasting my time.

And so he promises to call by Friday. And then, didn't call. so I called and it happens, they were still in the middle of it. The woman threatens to hurt herself with a big knife, how pathetic. So this goes on for a few days.

And he also says he has "decided". Well I've heard that before, from the same mouth. He says he has "learned his lesson", but what lesson is that - That when he does this again to me, he must make sure the woman is worth it? Is that his lesson?! Well then, if he has learned his lesson, I've also learned mine.

A few days went by and of course I can't just be sitting blind here, I want to know where he stands. So I learned that he broke up with her 16 times already. 16 times?? Well, they can break up 46 times, or 89 times or 2067 times, who cares how many times, the fact remains, they are still together in one house, and most possibly still SCREWING each other. He has no sense of honor, nor loyalty and respect for me.

So much about growing old together. I don't want somebody who just appears when I am old, but I want to get there with him along the way. That's why the word "GROWING" old together is placed. He can't live with another woman and spend the best days of his life with her and then come to me when we are "OLD". He should open his eyes and see how selfish that is.

DAMN HIM. I feel like a fool, I am getting tired and fed up. I can't imagine myself ever hurting someone I love like how he hurt me. He is so weak. He doesn't even have the willpower to stand by his "decisions". If it's me then kick out the slut and stay away from her. Otherwise let me grieve, forget all the dreams he threw away, move on and rebuild my life.



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The least of things with a meaning are worth more in life
than the greatest of things without it. -Carl Jung-
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