Inner Battles (Part1): New Zealand
My inner battle wages on.
I finally got my medical exam results yesterday. A big brown envelop (with the film from my x-ray test inside it). I am really curious what's inside but they said i must not open it. I remember signing a 12-page document with many blanks for the doctors, I think that is the document that's inside the big envelop along with the rest of my lab results. I do have a copy of the rest my lab results. Whew... I am very healthy.
Just when I was about to give up a dream... New Zealand, again I am being helped by a few helping hands. Just like before, when I wanted to go to Holland way back in 2002, I was planning it for a whole 2 years (2001-2002) and doing everything but it seemed that it just can't be done, something always comes up that makes it just a dream. Just when I gave up on it, around January of 2002 other people were working on it for me, my aunts... my grandma... my parents. The only thing I had to do was file my leave from the office, and then, before I knew it, I was there in May 2002.
Last year, it was my one and only who helped a lot. I just had to make good on the consular interview. When I want to go out, some helping hand comes into scene. It seems I am fortunate all the time.
And at present, this is another story. I've always wanted to go and work (and live) in NZ. It was a plan I had after my closure with my ex-boyfriend. I remember telling myself: the next time I lose in love I don't want to be lost and in the dark and empty. Nevermind if I am lost and in the dark, just don't let me be empty inside myself. At least, it would give me some comfort that I have achieved something for me.
When my one and only was still in Holland, he helped me a bit with half of the financial demands of this plan. Then last year, this plan went silent it seemed that it was taking so long and then forgotten for a while. These days, I had wished it would not push through. Afterall, what is all I have achieved for, if I have nobody to share it with.
My one and only had wanted to come here to my country and work here while waiting for it. I guess we thought it would take longer than two years to process. He planned to follow to NZ when I have made the initial move there. So, he came here oblivious to the changes that could happen to him here. Time is too fast it seems. You know, he has just started working in April, it has been a like a crash course and now he is living his dream at last, here in my country. I am happy for him. Like me, he wanted to live and work in another country.
I now think he will not follow me to NZ. Sad bit for me.
Just when that realization came, what a darned timing, my expression of interest at the new zealand immigration service comes through. I received the approval and was given only three months to comply all their requirements. Life... it gets confusing.
-------------------------------------------------------------
The least of things with a meaning are worth more in life
than the greatest of things without it. -Carl Jung-
-------------------------------------------------------------
I finally got my medical exam results yesterday. A big brown envelop (with the film from my x-ray test inside it). I am really curious what's inside but they said i must not open it. I remember signing a 12-page document with many blanks for the doctors, I think that is the document that's inside the big envelop along with the rest of my lab results. I do have a copy of the rest my lab results. Whew... I am very healthy.
Just when I was about to give up a dream... New Zealand, again I am being helped by a few helping hands. Just like before, when I wanted to go to Holland way back in 2002, I was planning it for a whole 2 years (2001-2002) and doing everything but it seemed that it just can't be done, something always comes up that makes it just a dream. Just when I gave up on it, around January of 2002 other people were working on it for me, my aunts... my grandma... my parents. The only thing I had to do was file my leave from the office, and then, before I knew it, I was there in May 2002.
Last year, it was my one and only who helped a lot. I just had to make good on the consular interview. When I want to go out, some helping hand comes into scene. It seems I am fortunate all the time.
And at present, this is another story. I've always wanted to go and work (and live) in NZ. It was a plan I had after my closure with my ex-boyfriend. I remember telling myself: the next time I lose in love I don't want to be lost and in the dark and empty. Nevermind if I am lost and in the dark, just don't let me be empty inside myself. At least, it would give me some comfort that I have achieved something for me.
When my one and only was still in Holland, he helped me a bit with half of the financial demands of this plan. Then last year, this plan went silent it seemed that it was taking so long and then forgotten for a while. These days, I had wished it would not push through. Afterall, what is all I have achieved for, if I have nobody to share it with.
My one and only had wanted to come here to my country and work here while waiting for it. I guess we thought it would take longer than two years to process. He planned to follow to NZ when I have made the initial move there. So, he came here oblivious to the changes that could happen to him here. Time is too fast it seems. You know, he has just started working in April, it has been a like a crash course and now he is living his dream at last, here in my country. I am happy for him. Like me, he wanted to live and work in another country.
I now think he will not follow me to NZ. Sad bit for me.
Just when that realization came, what a darned timing, my expression of interest at the new zealand immigration service comes through. I received the approval and was given only three months to comply all their requirements. Life... it gets confusing.
-------------------------------------------------------------
The least of things with a meaning are worth more in life
than the greatest of things without it. -Carl Jung-
-------------------------------------------------------------
posted by Gaille @ 8/29/2006 04:22:00 PM
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